It is not many but one that I desire,
The one who knows she is the one, the one who lights my wildfire,
The only one with whom I want to conspire,
But she has wrapped herself in a barbwire,
The wait has been too long that it has made me overtire,
And there is always a fear of backfire,
But she is still the one, the only one I desire.
Jadon laayinyan si yaariyan tere naal, sochea nahin si ki eh hovega mera haal,
Mainu dukh nahin ki mainn tenu milya kyon, dukh hai ki mainn tenu ditta kyon jaan,
Shayad main kiti nahin teri kadar odon, shayad main socheya nahin si ki ae hovega mere naal,
Je patta hondda mainu ki main reh pavanga na kisi joga, je mainn reha na tere naal,
Rab di son sach bolda haan, main na ditta hondda tenu jaan
Aj, aj tun apni zindagi vich hain masroof, te main apni vich haan mayoos,
Tere lai shayad meri koi nahin ahmiyat, per tun hale vi zinda hain mere dil vich,
Meri himmat nahin main tenu keh sakan apne dil da haal, bachihoi dosti lut na jave ae anda hai khyaal,
Per mann di hai hun ae ichcha, main bitvan apni saari zindagi tere naal,
Hai oye mereya rabba karrde na koi kamaal…
It has been more than a year that I have been thinking about writing something new on my blog, but nothing worked out. It seems like I have been on the cliff of a mountain, waiting for a nudge that pushes me off it. And, it seems that nudge came from my friend, Shastry a.k.a Pandit. He shared his blog with me and it was inspiring enough for me to go back to penning my thoughts. Seems that inspiration was momentary and made me pen a few thoughts before I went back to oblivion. Actually I have to blame him for this. I was writing this blog, with music blasting in my ears through my in-ear headphones that completely cut me off from the world. I never noticed that Shastry was behind me looking at my screen, though not deliberately. However, it was soon enough that I realized he is around and as soon as I did that, my thought process came to a screaching halt. But, by that time I had already written few paras. Now it has taken me couple of days to continue from where I left. This time I have to give credit to another friend for that nudge. He is actually my very good friend Manoj’s brother Atul, who is now a published author (Incredible High by Atul Kapoor). So, I thank both Shastry and Atul for the inspiration.
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Now it came down to what do I write about. If I look back, lots has happened in my life in last one year. A bit sad, a bit happy, and mostly average. Seems there is nothing unique here. I am sure that is how it is for most of us, isn’t it? Another fact is that I also do not remember a lot of details from the past year. I can conveniently attribute this to my old age. Being a 33 year old, with diminishing memory is not one of the exciting things to experience. Anyways, there are couple of incidents from the last year that I can never forget in my life. They can actually be termed as ‘life changing’, with the most significant being the ‘BREAKING’ news, my divorce, and the journey through it.
I think many in my circle know about me having marital troubles, but few know that I have been second time unlucky. I know it is a bit personal and not a great achievement to be writing publically about, but I am one of those folks who can not fight with reality and truth, and prefer to maintain an open and honest relation with it. So, instead of struggling to conceal it, I do not mind keeping it out there. I just think it makes my life a little easier.
I am very saddened by the fact that I have been unsuccessful in my marriages. Though it might have been good for one or both in the relation to get out of it, but the fact remains that it was achieved by ending a relationship that one gets into for a lifetime. I have been a big believer in the institution of marriage, but it seems I am not cutout for it. I know it sounds like a loser’s attitude, but I have been one. But does it make sense to keep fighting a loosing war or loose with whatever you are left with?
With all the turmoil and struggle that separations and divorces bring, another painful thing that you have to deal in this scenario is the pressure of perceptions. I know as humans we make perceptions, and they do influence our thoughts and judgments. At times I feel I am personally making up these perceptions about myself than actually people would. I don’t think that I am that important for the world to spend energy and thoughts to make perceptions about me, but they do :). And perceptions, yours or others, do affect you. But, as I said earlier, there is nothing bigger than truth, so have to deal with it, with a smile :).
At this stage I am not thinking much about my future on the long-term relationship front. Actually, I am not sure if I would marry again ever. However, marriage or no marriage, I know you do require a companion, but, it isn’t an easy search. Also, with my track record, I am no great shakes in identifying the right one anyways :) So, I will have to work hard to find that person. I am actually taking it as an exploration. So wish me luck and if interested, be part of it :) Cheers!
Glimpses of Tuesday, February 23, 2010 through my tweets… http://www.twitter.com/sameerchhabra
(Suggestion: Read bottoms up)
sameerchhabra: so its time I call it a day... a sarkari, queuee, hot, cold, long, tiring day... take care.. |
sameerchhabra: finished the second call some time back... now me waiting to sleep... it takes time... |
sameerchhabra: just done with my first call... next one is at 11pm... |
sameerchhabra: back home, watching Rahul Dulhaniya... but the day hasnt ended yet... couple of late calls are waiting... |
sameerchhabra: now at family friend's place... really tired... have couple of late night calls |
sameerchhabra: Had lunch at Kamat, gave phone for repair, got new number plate for my car, got a car mobile phone charger and stand |
sameerchhabra: so couldnt update for a long time... did lot of things |
sameerchhabra: at last RTO work is done... my new RC will reach me by post... now should eat someting |
sameerchhabra: finally in a queue in front of a desk... about 8 ppl before me... |
sameerchhabra: people jumping queues, as if everybody else is a fool... |
sameerchhabra: at last on first floor, got a chair, another 80+ folks before me... |
sameerchhabra: this queue is super slow... standing in stairs, going from ground to first... just reached midway |
sameerchhabra: another place, another queue... |
sameerchhabra: Reached RTO Secunderabad coming after 5+ yrs... came last when bought my car |
sameerchhabra: going there to get hypothecation off my car’s RC |
sameerchhabra: on my way to office of RTO Secunderabad |
sameerchhabra: have been asked to come tomorrow to know the result... ek aur din... anyways me off to RTO office now |
sameerchhabra: Submitted my application for enquiry to find if its my fault or passport offices’ |
sameerchhabra: Im just 4 people away from the window |
sameerchhabra: tempratures are high at #HyderabadPassportOffice... weather as well as people |
sameerchhabra: to tell u why im at #HyderabadPassportOffice... first it took 4 mnths to get the pssprt then they print my address wrong |
sameerchhabra: there are about 300+ folks here, waiting in 4 queues |
sameerchhabra: the window opens now, 10:00 am... half hour late |
sameerchhabra: the window is suppose to open at 9:30, but there is nobody across them till now, 9:50 |
sameerchhabra: as i have come for a correction, seems the line for it smaller than what i expected |
sameerchhabra: reached #Hyderabad passport office... the queue starts half km outside the gates itself |
sameerchhabra: late, leaving home now.. dreading the passport office queue.. planning for 2-3 hrs of standing... |
sameerchhabra: Mission passport office, RTO, phone repair, car pampering is ON... follow my day here |
When you hear the word ‘diversity’, what is the first thing that strikes you… I am not sure what you think, but somehow it seems this word has been loosely related to gender diversity. Maybe it is the same connection that I thought of writing my thoughts about diversity on the eve of women’s day :) I do not know why, but this connection seems to be the reality. Maybe it is related to the fact that we hear the word ‘diversity’ more at work than anywhere else, and there most of the times it is used in the context of maintaining male-female employee ratio. Another reason why this default connection has been established could be because of the fact that it is the most visible kind of diversity, especially in context of India. It is not like west where color of people makes a big difference, especially at work, because Indians somewhat look the same with their skin color ranging between a narrow band. However, it is important to understand that diversity means much more than just gender diversity. Somehow we all know this, but I am not sure if we really understand and appreciate it. With the whole women liberation, women commission, women’s day, and much more, we have all started accepting gender diversity, however, what about multiculturalism, religious diversity, political diversity, diversity of thoughts, etc.
Folks who work in global organizations have a larger understanding of diversity but I think a common Indian also knows about it pretty well, even if they don’t know the proper definition or have not gone through a formal course about it. India is the most diverse country on this planet earth. Whether it is language, culture, religion, cuisine, traditions, politics, economics, we are pretty diverse, isn’t it. But, living and growing up in such a diverse country, do you think we still respect diversity? The point I am trying to make is that KNOWING ABOUT DIVERSITY is DIFFERENT from APPRECIATING DIVERSITY. But, knowing about diversity makes it much easier to accept and appreciate diversity. Maybe that is the reason that we are pretty decent when it comes to global businesses, and we doing well across the world. The only irony I see is that we are more open to adjusting with diversity outside India then within. Am I correct? Though there also, we need to continuously keep understanding and appreciating the diversity existing across the globe. It is such a vast world, and there is always new to explore and learn.
Also, we might want to show that we are open to diversity and appreciate it, maybe because that is expected of us like any other good behavior, a fact is that we all are selectively diverse. We might be able to appreciate diversity of some sort, but not be very open to some other form of diversity. I think that is very natural and human. However, let us try to be more diverse in everything. A non-diverse environment is suffocating. It is an amazing experience once you start appreciating diversity. You feel free in your thoughts and the world appears more happy. If we understand the need for diversity and enjoy it, most problems in the world, in general, and in our life, in specific, can be solved better and faster.
So, for me diversity is all about appreciating and enjoying it. It is a way of thinking and living life. A person who appreciates diversity is bound to enjoy life more. It is more like, life without deewaars.
The moment these days somebody utters the words bandar or monkey, and specifically kala bandar… there is only one connection… Delhi 6. Have you seen that movie? No, then see… and if you have seen, you either like it or hate it… there is no grey here. It seems there are more who hate (based on the opinion of my friends on facebook), but I liked it. I thinks the movie is deep, with lot of message conveyed using metaphors. But it seems not many go to a theatre expecting that they might have to use their brains. Actually, not much fault of theirs as most of the movies don’t have that requirement. Anyways, I enjoyed the movie, the message it conveyed, and the way it was represented. Maybe the representation could have been different, may be more simpler, more direct, less metaphorical, and the movie could have been a little more romantic to ensure many more Rakeysh Om Prakash Mehra fans like this movie. Anyways, doesn’t matter to me… I liked the movie.
However, before I talk more about the movie, I am not sure how much you know about this kala bandar thing. If you are not aware then you might be surprised to know that this kala bandar phenomenon is a fact and the capital city of Delhi was griped by this mass hysteria in 2001. Here are few links that you can visit to know more about it:
This kala bandar or monkey man is an abstract creation of peoples weird imagination and insecurities that is what is used as a metaphor in Delhi 6. It is important to understand this historical occurrence to appreciate the movie.
The movie tries to project how people use this hypothetical character to do what they want to do. Some use it to avoid getting caught red handed having extra-marital fun, others use it to cook their religious and political rotis, and then there are some who use it as a business opportunity to maybe start selling kala bandar merchandise. The movie conveys this message repeatedly, highlighting the fact that we humans use many happenings and things around us as excuses. And, we can make up anything, just to save our ass or get some benefit out of a situation. So, the fact is that there is no kala bandar anywhere outside, it is sitting inside us that makes us do these things. It is our insecurities, incapability, or opportunistic behavior which is the kala bandar that can impact our mind and thoughts in such a way that we can even go to the extent of creating these hypothetical creatures, which become such a phenomenon when more than one person joins in and believes the same. Hear the ‘Kala Bandar’ song closely, and it talks about the same thing and actually spells out the crux of the movie.
I think this whole thing also highlights the power of a human brain and what it an do, on which oneself has not control. Its like that scenario where we fear that there might be a time powerful computers and robots might take us over. Check any sci-fi movie and you will see a character similar to that. Thats what our brain is. It is the most powerful computer, which is ours, which we should control, and use it to do what we want to do, but most of the times it is the other way around. It is so damn powerful that it just makes us do what it wants to do. We are bloody so helpless. Dont you feel that at times? Maybe it is just me. There might be some around who don’t, then those are the folks who we call gurus, or at least they pretend to be ones. These gurus are growing like wild grass, just trying to give us that elusive formula to control our brains and the thoughts that it produces. Such a basic thing but an amazingly lucrative business idea, anyways…
You might be glad to know that there was one very positive outcome of this monkey man incidents of Delhi. There was so much hysteria around this that it kept police and government on its toes. During those times, there was more police on the roads and electricity never went off at night, just to ensure that people feel more safe and the monkey man doesn’t attack again. But what a shame… it needed a hypothetical character to help our agencies perform to their optimum levels. This is what they should be doing every day.
So, just remember that we have a few weak characteristics within ourselves (collectively call it a ‘kala bandar’) that we should work to over come, before they become a hysteria, and never, never give an opportunity to others to exploit it. Also, ensure that even you do not use them for your benefit. Live in peace!
NOTE: Please see the movie to find for yourself what Abhishek, Sonam, and others have done. I think they were good, so go and watch it. Just ensure you take your heart and brain along. Also, enjoy the music. A. R. Rahman has done a great job.
