‘BREAKING’ News!

It has been more than a year that I have been thinking about writing something new on my blog, but nothing worked out. It seems like I have been on the cliff of a mountain, waiting for a nudge that pushes me off it. And, it seems that nudge came from my friend, Shastry a.k.a Pandit. He shared his blog with me and it was inspiring enough for me to go back to penning my thoughts. Seems that inspiration was momentary and made me pen a few thoughts before I went back to oblivion. Actually I have to blame him for this. I was writing this blog, with music blasting in my ears through my in-ear headphones that completely cut me off from the world. I never noticed that Shastry was behind me looking at my screen, though not deliberately. However, it was soon enough that I realized he is around and as soon as I did that, my thought process came to a screaching halt. But, by that time I had already written few paras. Now it has taken me couple of days to continue from where I left. This time I have to give credit to another friend for that nudge. He is actually my very good friend Manoj’s brother Atul, who is now a published author (Incredible High by Atul Kapoor). So, I thank both Shastry and Atul for the inspiration.

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Now it came down to what do I write about. If I look back, lots has happened in my life in last one year. A bit sad, a bit happy, and mostly average. Seems there is nothing unique here. I am sure that is how it is for most of us, isn’t it? Another fact is that I also do not remember a lot of details from the past year. I can conveniently attribute this to my old age. Being a 33 year old, with diminishing memory is not one of the exciting things to experience. Anyways, there are couple of incidents from the last year that I can never forget in my life. They can actually be termed as ‘life changing’, with the most significant being the ‘BREAKING’ news, my divorce, and the journey through it.

I think many in my circle know about me having marital troubles, but few know that I have been second time unlucky. I know it is a bit personal and not a great achievement to be writing publically about, but I am one of those folks who can not fight with reality and truth, and prefer to maintain an open and honest relation with it. So, instead of struggling to conceal it, I do not mind keeping it out there. I just think it makes my life a little easier.

I am very saddened by the fact that I have been unsuccessful in my marriages. Though it might have been good for one or both in the relation to get out of it, but the fact remains that it was achieved by ending a relationship that one gets into for a lifetime. I have been a big believer in the institution of marriage, but it seems I am not cutout for it. I know it sounds like a loser’s attitude, but I have been one. But does it make sense to keep fighting a loosing war or loose with whatever you are left with?

With all the turmoil and struggle that separations and divorces bring, another painful thing that you have to deal in this scenario is the pressure of perceptions. I know as humans we make perceptions, and they do influence our thoughts and judgments. At times I feel I am personally making up these perceptions about myself than actually people would. I don’t think that I am that important for the world to spend energy and thoughts to make perceptions about me, but they do :). And perceptions, yours or others, do affect you. But, as I said earlier, there is nothing bigger than truth, so have to deal with it, with a smile :).

At this stage I am not thinking much about my future on the long-term relationship front. Actually, I am not sure if I would marry again ever. However, marriage or no marriage, I know you do require a companion, but, it isn’t an easy search. Also, with my track record, I am no great shakes in identifying the right one anyways :) So, I will have to work hard to find that person. I am actually taking it as an exploration. So wish me luck and if interested, be part of it :) Cheers!

Are you diverse enough?

When you hear the word ‘diversity’, what is the first thing that strikes you… I am not sure what you think, but somehow it seems this word has been loosely related to gender diversity. Maybe it is the same connection that I thought of writing my thoughts about diversity on the eve of women’s day :) I do not know why, but this connection seems to be the reality. Maybe it is related to the fact that we hear the word ‘diversity’ more at work than anywhere else, and there most of the times it is used in the context of maintaining male-female employee ratio. Another reason why this default connection has been established could be because of the fact that it is the most visible kind of diversity, especially in context of India. It is not like west where color of people makes a big difference, especially at work, because Indians somewhat look the same with their skin color ranging between a narrow band. However, it is important to understand that diversity means much more than just gender diversity. Somehow we all know this, but I am not sure if we really understand and appreciate it. With the whole women liberation, women commission, women’s day, and much more, we have all started accepting gender diversity, however, what about multiculturalism, religious diversity, political diversity, diversity of thoughts, etc.

Folks who work in global organizations have a larger understanding of diversity but I think a common Indian also knows about it pretty well, even if they don’t know the proper definition or have not gone through a formal course about it. India is the most diverse country on this planet earth. Whether it is language, culture, religion, cuisine, traditions, politics, economics, we are pretty diverse, isn’t it. But, living and growing up in such a diverse country, do you think we still respect diversity? The point I am trying to make is that KNOWING ABOUT DIVERSITY is DIFFERENT from APPRECIATING DIVERSITY. But, knowing about diversity makes it much easier to accept and appreciate diversity. Maybe that is the reason that we are pretty decent when it comes to global businesses, and we doing well across the world. The only irony I see is that we are more open to adjusting with diversity outside India then within. Am I correct? Though there also, we need to continuously keep understanding and appreciating the diversity existing across the globe. It is such a vast world, and there is always new to explore and learn.

Also, we might want to show that we are open to diversity and appreciate it, maybe because that is expected of us like any other good behavior, a fact is that we all are selectively diverse. We might be able to appreciate diversity of some sort, but not be very open to some other form of diversity. I think that is very natural and human. However, let us try to be more diverse in everything. A non-diverse environment is suffocating. It is an amazing experience once you start appreciating diversity. You feel free in your thoughts and the world appears more happy. If we understand the need for diversity and enjoy it, most problems in the world, in general, and in our life, in specific, can be solved better and faster.

So, for me diversity is all about appreciating and enjoying it. It is a way of thinking and living life. A person who appreciates diversity is bound to enjoy life more. It is more like, life without deewaars.

Its Oscar fever in India… I’m gripped too… though a little late…

There are couple of topics in my heart for which I have been wanting to write about since last week or so, but its the Oscar fever that has gripped me and I am writing about it before I start with those topics. It is just a few moments ago that I witnessed the Oscars coming live from the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood and it has hit me hard… i’m gripped. I wasn’t even too serious about watching the live telecast and was not expecting much. Thought Slumdog Millionaire will win a few Oscars, Rahman will win too, but nothing great about it. Though channels and everybody around have been really hyping up the Oscars, especially because Rahman, Gulzar, and Resul are nominated, but the hype didn’t work on me… till I woke up today morning and switched on my TV before even I could open my eye lids.

It was a great ceremony. Though felt a little different from the past Oscar ceremonies that I remember, as the stage was low and small, but still as grand as ever. You have to look at the amazing stages that they create for these awards and the beautiful visuals. The way they showed AVs, the splitting screens, the nominees being introduced by past winners… real treat to watch the show. The musical performance by Rahman was colorful and really good. It was worth watching and skipping office… though was not required, but could work from home, so did it.

Watching Resul Pookutty go on stage in a black Jodhpuri to receive the gold statuette and give an acceptance speech on behalf of the other two fellow sound mixers who received the award along with him, it was nice. The words he uttered and his dedication of the award to our country, it was amazing. Then came the double whammy from Rahman. He looked good and spoke well. I think the moment that highlighted the ceremony for me was the best picture award presentation. The stage was mobbed by the cast and crew of Slumdog. It was awesome to see so many Indian faces on the stage. I think that was the moment which can answer the queries of many who question whether we Indians should be so happy and proud about Slumdog doing so good. I think we should be happy and proud about this movie because it is about India, it is about an Indian, based on a novel written by an Indian, shot in India, most of the actors are Indians, most of the crew is Indian... it has an Indian soul... its just that a Britisher took the courage to make it... I’m happy for the movie, but definitely more for Resul, Rahman, Gulzar, and the child actors...

Jai Ho!

P.S.: Hey I forgot to mention another Indian connection at the Oscars, Smile Pinki, winner of the Oscar for short documentary. Again an Indian subject, documented by an outsider. Indian filmmakers and documentarians, wake up!